Three prominent American women have admitted they survived sexual assault, physical assault, stalking, and childhood abuse (an umbrella term that also includes domestic violence, physical violence, and stalking). We’ve made strides in this country because of increased openness about sexual abuse – but we still have a long way to go.
Among these survivors is singer FKA Twigs, who filed a lawsuit in December against actor Shia LaBeouf, alleging he sexually assaulted, battered and caused her emotional distress. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez (D-NY), disclosed that she had been a victim of sexual assault in a video posted on Feb 1 as well. Similarly, actress Evan Rachel Wood publicly accused Marilyn Manson of sexual abuse on Feb. 1 on Instagram.
Ocasio-Cortez recounted her experience during the Capitol riot while streaming a 90-minute Instagram Live video. While visibly emotional, she also revealed to audiences that the Jan. 6 trauma compounded an earlier one of being sexually assaulted, and she has not told many people.
This video, which has been viewed about 6 million times, gives voice to one of the reasons it is so difficult for victims of interpersonal violence to recover: Negative societal reactions. It was evident on social media that even as the lawmaker received widespread public support after her disclosure, she was also derided by many, including by a journalist who alleged that she was using it for “emotional manipulation.”
My experience as a clinical psychologist has shown me how the revelations of such public figures have resonated with many individuals who have been interpersonally traumatized, which is a distressingly common crime in our society. A CDC survey conducted in 2015 found that 1 in 5 women had experienced rape or attempted rape. Approximately one in four women and one in ten men have experienced sexual, physical, or stalking abuse from a close relationship. Incidences of domestic violence increased after lockdowns were instituted in 2020 as a result of the Coronavirus pandemic, according to a meta-analysis published in February by the National Commission on Coronavirus and Criminal Justice.
Recent movements such as #MeToo and Time’s Up have brought attention to interpersonal violence and have worked to reduce the stigma associated with it.
A recent CBS This Morning interview featured host Gayle King asking FKA Twigs why she didn’t leave her abusive relationship sooner. The singer replied that she wouldn’t answer the question any longer. She believed that the questions should focus instead on why an abuser holds a victim hostage. As a result, she said, the abusive relationship made it harder to leave.
My traumatized patients often report feeling judged for their traumatic experiences and for the mental health issues they have subsequently developed. Interpersonal trauma survivors often avoid, or at least delay, disclosing what happened and seeking help due to their fear of being scrutinized and held accountable.
Individually and collectively, how can we reduce shaming and rejection of interpersonal trauma survivors? The courage of survivors who have revealed abuse and risked their reputation and even their safety is a powerful example of how survivors can speak out and increase public awareness of the issue. However, we cannot expect them to carry the entire weight of societal change alone.
Watch out for subtle signs and changes in the behavior of friends or family members you are worried about. Some survivors may show other signs of distress when discussing what is happening, such as soft speech, hesitation, false smiles, hunching shoulders, fidgeting, or covering their faces with their hands.
Listen non judgmentally and try to be present and accepting. When you are feeling the urge to ignore, question, or criticize someone who discloses abuse, you need to get clear on what is going on with yourself so that you can show up for them.Also, it is important to be patient and respect a survivor’s pace when dealing with their trauma. You can help by offering a safe haven, researching mental-health-care options, and connecting survivors to organizations and resources, such as the National Domestic Violence Hotline and the National Sexual Violence Resources Center.
With some success, universities have designed, implemented and tested programs for students that address gender stereotypes and interpersonal violence. As well as helping to prevent sexual assaults, bystander intervention programs in schools and colleges have shown success in changing misconceptions about sexual assault. However, if we hope to reduce interpersonal violence on campus, more educational institutions must join the cause.
Furthermore, evidence-based educational programs should begin much earlier than college in order to tackle gender stereotypes. Changing gender-related attitudes is more likely to be successful when intervening at a young age. It also reaches a broader population.
In spite of the renewed focus on sexual harassment training and legal requirements, advocates say workplaces have a difficult time making real changes. To foster an environment where survivors are not ashamed, stigmatized or penalized, openness, acceptance and transparency are essential. The 30-year-old Gia Vecchio kept her mental health issues related to past emotional traumas hidden at work. When she saw how others with similar conditions were deemed handicapped or ineligible for advancement, she downplayed her symptoms and worked doubly hard not to let anyone know.
Health care settings could also benefit from recognizing and addressing interpersonal violence with greater directness. Most women are comfortable having their health provider ask if they have experienced sexual assault, yet only a minority are tested for it.
Finally, a great deal of our perceptions of interpersonal violence are influenced by media coverage, movies, music, and video games. Even if those details and storylines attract more attention, the media have a social responsibility to avoid them. Educating our community, supporting survivors, and standing up for them will send a strong message that we will not tolerate interpersonal violence or turn our backs on our targeted friends, family members, colleagues, and peers during their most vulnerable moments. That kind of commitment can lead to true healing.
The post What Celebrities’ Stories Teach Us About Surviving Sexual Assault first appeared on Arlington/DC Behavior Therapy Institute.